Lately, I've been reading this book called 'How We Decide' which was lent to me by a good friend of mine who is just as interested in psychology and probably twice as knowledgeable about it. It's all about-- guess what-- making decisions and how and why we decide the things we do.
I just got past a section which summarized a study done on over 400 fifth graders, I believe in the land of New York. This study was essentially very simple- the students were divided into two groups. They were tested with puzzles and such equally, but were simply given different praise: one group, after working, was told  "You must be so smart for this!" while the other group was told "You must've worked really hard on this!". It shouldn't seem too great a difference, but the statistics that followed were unmistakable. After being initially tested, these students were given the option of taking a set of puzzles that would challenge them, or taking a test on material they already knew. Virtually all the students in the group with the 'smart' praise chose the easy test while the students in the 'hard work' praise group chose the challenging test. They were willing to fail at first to learn how to gain; to learn how to learn. Also, when given the option for comparing their test results with people who scored higher or lower than theirs, 'smart' students chose to compare with those who did poorly to emphasize what they did well on. However, the 'hardworking' students chose to compare with the tests that scored higher than them to find out what they did wrong and to seek to improve and learn from their mistakes. In the end of the study, the students were given a test at the same difficulty as in the beginning. The students in the 'hard work' group scored 30% higher, and the 'smart' group scored almost 20% lower!!
Basically, the students in the 'hard working' group were being taught how to learn. We can only learn by failing, examining those failures, and applying that to future work. Essentially, we need to push ourselves further so we can recoup and gather more from it.
I'm sure that whoever reads this and goes to Wayzata knows what I'm talking about when I say that we're, for the most part, in the 'smart' group. We place such a high value on A's and the grading system, and I know I'm not alone when I say I am put under enormous pressure to poop out fantastic grades and high scores (SAT, ACT, or otherwise). When I was reading this section of the book, I tried and failed to remember the last time a teacher (or parent) had praised me based on the work I had done. I remember being scolded based on lower scores I produced and praised on how smart I was for having higher scores, but I have never been told it's okay to fail so long as I was milking learning opportunities out of it. I really don't know where this problem started or where to fix it, but now that I can acknowledge it, I think it should be addressed to everyone, from students to parents to teachers. Sure, not everyone will understand, but everyone should be given the opportunity to learn how to learn.