i am an artist.
i love writing poetry, visual arts, and music. but at the same time, i'm afraid of my art. i'm afraid when i sit down to draw, that i'll end up with nothing worth my time when i'm done. i'm about to start a new painting, and i know even now that when i sit down to start, i'll have almost no idea what i'm going to do. it's something i fear as much as i love.
i have trouble with this. even when i do something that looks good, if only i don't think it's good, then it's garbage to me. it doesn't matter what kinds of compliments i receive. even when i am proud of my work, i still seem to have a problem taking compliments. it's hard for me; i feel like my art only looks/sounds good to me. sometimes, it's just easier when people don't comment on my work unless it's critiquing. i guess that sounds weird, but i feel like it's not sincere if it doesn't have a 'catch', if you will.
i have problems, even with what i love.
