The day her mom left was the day that a certain sadness settled around the house and...never really left after that. It was worse than I'd ever known, which was saying a lot- she'd had a problem household since I'd met her, which was way back in first grade. It was a deeper pain than I'd seen before, settling itself cozily under her eyes and burrowing deep in her heart. I could see the sorrow etched on her face, but it was nothing I could relate to; nothing I could imagine helping with. She was becoming lost in herself, confused at what she could find; at what she did find. Unlike other times in her life, this time, the grief never left.
There wasn't any talking that day. I think that was one of the worst parts about it...no one would talk about it. It's like people were afraid to say, "Hey, he's dead!" because that would wedge the heavy nail into our hearts even further, making it impossible to get out. I don't know about anyone else, but when I walked around, I slouched forward because of the lead weight in my chest, the intangible and incurable pain just underneath the skin on my face, swelling beneath my forehead and cheeks. We couldn't help but want to die, simply because unconsciousness in death was far preferable than the ache tormenting our minds. It was depression with a blade, pressing into us and cutting into our thoughts. The worst part was that there was absolutely nothing that we could possibly do about it. There was nothing to do but sit there and feel the ache deep in our chests.
Sorrow is losing my grandmother to cancer. Sorrow is the break of a deep friendship. Sorrow is the feeling of the loss of a part of one's soul. When a close friend of mine said we could not be friends anymore, for no apparent reason, the pain was so immense, I had no idea what had hit me. I felt like someone had ripped out a hole in my chest and filled it with iron. A friend, describing his breakup with his girlfriend, was somewhat similar.
Sorrow can be compared to sadness, but it's so much worse. If sadness is hearing about your neighbor's dog getting put down last week, sorrow is watching your best friend get poisoned to death just beyond a glass wall. The stark opposite would be euphoria, felt only for moments at a time. One can feel happiness consistently, but euphoria is the split second where you feel complete success and triumph.
Unlike falling in love, one does not 'fall into sorrow'. It is not gradual. When you're walking back home from getting groceries, sorrow will jump out from behind the playground and punch you in the face. Something severe happens to something very close to your heart and that's the only thing needed. That's when sorrow hits. From there, you plunge into a pit of what is usually made up of grief and despair. Sounds cheesy, yes, but cliches must come from somewhere.
Sorrow involves a deep feeling of loss, settling heavily in the chest and face for most. It affects almost everyone, because most people are close with others such as parents, friends, siblings, or a significant other, and because no one can live forever or always stay with a given person, everyone will then experience such a loss.
The first thing that comes to mind when sorrow is mentioned for me is the color dark blue. It's soft and velvety, perfect for crying into. When trying to relate to people feeling such a dreaded emotion, I imagine the isolation and pain they must be feeling. Sorrow is one of the many extremes of human emotion, falling into one of the darker ends of the spectrum.
As a result of losing something of great personal value to him or herself, a person undergoing sorrow usually becomes depressed, either temporarily or permanently. This is the result of slowing of the release of serotonin in the brain, causing a feeling of depression and sometimes anxiety.
Sorrow is the low of all lows. It's what makes the highs higher, even though it is one of the most painful things a human can endure. Sorrow is the other essential feeling besides happiness/love for humans, because it's exactly what makes us...human. It allows us to show compassion for others and helps define what we will do. Sorrow is the pinnacle of all sadness; the limit of our human grief. Sorrow is inevitable.
Everyone endures sorrow. It doesn't matter where in the world you go, what time or space you are in, but all humans suffer and have suffered. One could potentially argue, 'But what about those stupid spoiled people? They can get everything they want and never suffer in such a way.' The thing is, even though everyone suffers in different ways, everybody still...suffers. Sorrow is a part of life that cannot be avoided by anyone. Those stupid spoiled people still have feelings, even though they developed in a different way from yours and mine, just as they have from everyone else's. People develop ties to things and people around them; the kinds of ties that they grow into, that become ingrained into them, that they become a part of. Cutting those ties involves cutting part of the person off, and losing that part, no matter what it is to any given person, is a pain-filled experience.
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